Tag: service

How to lead in the absence of gathering

Fellowship is crucial to humanity’s wellbeing. I belong to many small groups and thrive on gathering with like-minded individuals and being of service to people around me. At a time when real-life is interfering with our efforts to come together, nurturing or creating a sense of community will be essential. I believe the aspirations, interests and needs to come together will be felt increasingly, and I would encourage people to consider the importance of forming groups, gathering their tribe.

Forming groups is an invitation to companionship and camaraderie into a circle of support. You may feel driven to found groups around activities that can be managed virtually at a time when gathering is challenging. We may find that groups of like-minded individuals are inherently exclusive as they serve as a support network to those who have something in common, but leadership can help transcend the boundaries that might otherwise keep people apart. We need to cultivate from the outset an inclusive and diverse group open to engaging with others to ensure that the group will grow and thrive as a result.

You will likely come across the discouragement of seeing people reluctant to engage actively, waiting to see how the group evolves. The challenge will be greater in the absence of physical gathering. But intention will be key. You will be tested by others wondering whether you are truly committed to serving with your heart and soul. In fact, your vision and intention to serve will be the seed that will eventually grow into nurturing a community long beyond your own role in the inception of the group and even your own presence, staying true to its original purpose. The group will develop its own life cycle and evolve along the way for as long as it will remain coherent with its core purpose, and resonate with people and the environment. Leadership is about giving the impulse and keeping coherence and resonance alive.

Vulnerability in leadership

I love to watch trees in the autumn. It used to be I liked them most because of the colours, notably in Canada! However, with age I notice in forests around me how trees grow wider each passing year. I see the bark they shed regularly, as they outgrow these boundaries. I reflect on how nature shows us the way to grow personally by shedding our boundaries, our defenses, originally designed to protect us. The point is that what has once protected us becomes an impediment to our ability to expand and become our full potential.

We all need a layer of protection as we grow to face the many challenges in life. We all have a vulnerable core that needs defenses, so as to develop as grown-ups, and to heal when hurt. The delicate process of personal growth, however, requires that we soften and loosen up to shed those boundaries if we are to continuously grow. Many of us prefer to stay safe and start feeling constricted in our environment, not realizing that the constriction is actually imposed from within, from an inability to question the structures and the defense mechanisms we ourselves have put in place.

You may have decided as you age that life is less about you and more about others, from children to grandchildren and beyond. You may have chosen to become of service to your community and lead in some respect for the benefit of others. However, looking at the trees, this is less about shifting your focus to others, and more about becoming wider. It is not about disappearing yourself so much as becoming large enough to hold yourself and others. This requires an important process of questioning your defenses and softening to release the previous boundaries and grow so as to create a new space for yourself and others. This is about leadership in community building.

Leadership and parenthood

In my conversation on leadership with interested friends and colleagues these past weeks, I had a meaningful exchange that prompted me to reflect on the link between leadership and motherhood. I am writing today with that conversation in mind, hoping to contribute to my friend’s reflection on the subject. I recall writing in this blog how raising my son had helped me develop my leadership skills, but what specific skills in parenthood, and in what concrete aspects of leadership did parenthood prove useful?

Leadership is being redefined today to meet the demands of a workforce that is essentially seeking out in its job: personal growth, increased connectedness, and making a difference in the world. The new leadership paradigm is slowly shifting towards a socially responsible workforce in demand of greater diversity, equity, and inclusion. Recent research (https://www.potentialproject.com/nl/) seems to validate this analysis when it indicates that the key characteristics of effective leaders in today’s world are rooted in mindfulness, selflessness, and compassion. 

Parenthood is a tremendous asset in developing these characteristics. Mindful leaders combining focus and awareness are rare. We often encounter a distracted leadership, essentially on autopilot, self-absorbed by the nonstop demand on its time. As a parent, we hardly have a choice. Children will quickly see through an absent-minded parent, and demand a greater level of awareness. Moreover, research shows a propensity of leaders today focusing on self, rather than service to others with humility. As a parent, we hopefully discover early two key responsibilities: cultivating a sense of belonging and inclusion for the child to establish solid roots while, at the same time, providing inspiration for the child to ultimately take off and fly solo. Selflessness is core to parenting. As for compassion, it remains controversial as a sign of weakness when leadership still is often associated with strength. It is a mistake to associate compassion with softness. Parenthood teaches us that, on the contrary, compassion is rooted in courage and strength, accepting the need to have difficult conversations and make tough decisions for the benefit of the child. It is about giving feedback that may not be welcome, but that is required for the higher good of our children. As a parent, we get to experience and master the art of being unpopular with humility in service of someone else’s well-being.

Leadership: it is not the title it is the job

In the past decades, I have occupied many positions with various levels of professional satisfaction. I discovered that a high-status job did not necessarily mean job satisfaction, but that positions that allowed me to live in accordance with my values and contribute something of myself ensured professional satisfaction. I understood that what I did was far less important than how I did it. I could even turn a mediocre job into a fulfilling occupation by exploring how to be helpful to others. Service to others is always possible and gratifying for all.

For many of us in society, our titles – including our job titles – define who we are, even our worth. Society does not look at all jobs equally. Yet, “ordinary” jobs may be occupied by people who manage to contribute their skills and talents to the world irrespective of the tasks they accomplish at work. It is not what we do but how we do it that matters. As leaders, setting and meeting goals are important. However, the goals are everyone’s business, but how people achieve these goals, whether they enjoy the experience and thrive or become miserable in the process, is the job of leaders. Ultimately, leadership lies with who you are as a person and how you care for others, rather than what you do for a living. It is a quality of heart rather than an occupation.

So, if you are wondering how to find a fulfilling job, or perhaps how to find your job fulfilling, the key lies less in the job title or menial tasks involved, and more in being your true self as you go about it day to day. If you are a waiter, be proud of your work and enjoy the contacts. Try to contribute your talents and skills to your surroundings, whatever may be the job. It is not the kind of work you do that takes you to lead your life happily, it is the choices you make in leading the way towards your own happiness that will make a leader of you.