Tag: leadership

Leadership by invitation

My latest leadership lesson I received this year from my elderly mother. Watching a loved one or even a peer traverse a path littered with stumbling blocks can be very painful. I find myself wanting to guide them and share the benefit of my own experience, my knowledge or wisdom. I have come to understand though that all human beings have the right to their own paths without the influence of others. Interfering in other people’s lives is denying them the enlightenment gained from drawing their own lessons. I had to accept that I may not identify with the choices of my mother, nor understand them, but she has the right to her own “mistakes”, her own way, her own pace.

Each one of us must earn our independence and gain illumination from making our own decisions. We have so much to learn from reflecting upon the consequences of our choices. Life is about choosing wisely. Understanding that each person must walk in their own way and at their own pace is necessary to lead wisely. Each one of us is unique and drawn to a different path. Yet we often feel tempted to direct the paths of others. Our egos convince us that we know better, often awaking a hidden craving for control within us. Beware!

If you feel compelled to intervene when watching another human being make his/her way slowly and painfully down a difficult path, try to empathize with his or her need to grow autonomously, and make his or her own way in and out of the world. Now people may ask for help and that is different. Indeed, you need a proper invitation to lead and share experiences, advice, drawing on your mistakes and wisdom. Watch for a cue though; do not over indulge. You may just need to provide the spark that will help others regain their balance to carry on their own path. To each their own. Remember that diversity is key to genuine leadership. 

Christmas and leadership

Using the power and energy of the human voice, we have gathered to share stories from times immemorial. We have passed on creation tales and tragic stories, repeated family history. Storytelling has been imbued with ritual and occasion. Members of tribes and various collectives have gathered around the fire to hear how their lives were interwoven with that of others.

Storytelling is also the art of repeating over and over because you believe that each time you hear it, you come to the story as a different person, and view the plot and characters in a new light. Hearing that story is a way to gauge where you have been and where you are now on our path of personal growth. It is also part of raising younger generations, so that they can pass it on to forthcoming generations.

Yet I noted how most formal traditions of storytelling are lost. It doesn’t mean that I have to be without. I can begin new practices, learn to listen to another, to speak honouring his or her unique stories and uniqueness, witnessing the different journeys of those around me without imposing mine. 

By building new practices of storytelling we learn to lead in a new way. We give ourselves and the ones we love an opportunity to draw closer in our shared human experiences. Long live the stories around Christmas and all traditions!

Leadership and humility

As a single mom, I have long led my life independently. I felt reassured to have full control over my decisions, and to decide for myself which way to go. It took me a long time to understand that I was under the illusion that I was in charge and could handle the responsibilities towards my son that I felt squarely on my shoulders.

I discovered that it takes a village to raise a child. We probably each come to realize in our lives that behind each one of us stands at least one person. In the past, we often looked to our spouse to be that person. Some of us had the helpful experience of realizing that this is not the exclusive role of spouses, and that we are meant to have many supporters to allow ourselves to do the things we want to do, to realize our dreams, to become ourselves fully.

Have you come to appreciate how life is perfectly orchestrated to bring the right people around you to get to where you want to go? Have you become aware of how you are yourself being placed on someone else’s path to support that person? As you take time to acknowledge everyone that has supported you on your path, and how many times you were there for someone else, you will gain an understanding and genuine appreciation for the amazing human support system that life is and, thereby, develop the much-needed humility that today’s leadership in a chaotic world demands.

Leadership versus “going it alone”

There is something very special about seeing an old friend coming back into one’s life. I received a message recently from an old friend from high school, who found me through social media. Thirty years may have passed since our last encounter. I was as startled as if a ghost had visited, and a rush of joy as if I had lost a precious gift and found it again.

Every person that passes through our lives makes a contribution; some are brief appearances, others significant challenges, but many add to our life stories. When fate brings old friends back into our lives, there is always a reason or some meaning. It helps reconnect with a part of us we may have forgotten, bringing a missing piece from our lifelong puzzle, a part of us we lost and needed to nurture, another opportunity to address an old situation to move forward.

If this hasn’t yet happened to you, you may be meant to initiate the experience and reach out to an old friend. Be sure to look beyond the surprise of the moment to grasp the deeper meaning this gift reveals. You may realize how we are not meant to discover our path on our own. It is through connections and reconnections that we find our way. Leadership isn’t about going it alone.