Tag: growth

Christmas and leadership

Using the power and energy of the human voice, we have gathered to share stories from times immemorial. We have passed on creation tales and tragic stories, repeated family history. Storytelling has been imbued with ritual and occasion. Members of tribes and various collectives have gathered around the fire to hear how their lives were interwoven with that of others.

Storytelling is also the art of repeating over and over because you believe that each time you hear it, you come to the story as a different person, and view the plot and characters in a new light. Hearing that story is a way to gauge where you have been and where you are now on our path of personal growth. It is also part of raising younger generations, so that they can pass it on to forthcoming generations.

Yet I noted how most formal traditions of storytelling are lost. It doesn’t mean that I have to be without. I can begin new practices, learn to listen to another, to speak honouring his or her unique stories and uniqueness, witnessing the different journeys of those around me without imposing mine. 

By building new practices of storytelling we learn to lead in a new way. We give ourselves and the ones we love an opportunity to draw closer in our shared human experiences. Long live the stories around Christmas and all traditions!

Leadership and the unknown

As I look at the world today for the first time probably ever engaging in one single conversation called coronavirus, I am struck by the reality of facing the unknown. To me, this is an interesting opportunity to venture beyond the comfort of our normal life, beyond the safety of all that we have come to trust in this life. To many, this pandemic is a scary situation, which could strike nearly anyone and cause death for as long as there is no reliable medication or vaccine. To others, it is simply a pain, restricting their freedom. To a smaller number of people, this is an opportunity to do things they never have time to do or venture on a new path without a net. To me, this is the time to trust without seeing and enjoy life from a place of balance and support, even if I cannot tell what is coming tomorrow.

We may find it challenging to move without a safety net in life, like a tightrope walker. However, the net is a barrier to experiencing new things, protecting us from failing, if not falling, and ultimately an obstacle to the freedom of doing things differently. Change is inherent to life, and we spend so much time edging against the risks it entails. But what we have learned to trust can surprise us at any moment, and life presents itself again with a multitude of possibilities, all scarier than the other, and we feel alive again. Remove the fear from the equation with a net, and possibilities will shrink.

When you face the unknown and take a few tentative steps despite the fear, you discover that you can attract support into your life by simply trusting. You will meet a soft landing that you could not have anticipated. From this experience comes the highest and best experience of personal growth. It takes being willing to get past the fear of the unknown, the safety net you have relied on for so long, and to trust without knowing. It is a matter of knowing that you will always make the best from whatever comes your way. Trust in yourself to lead your best life.

Vulnerability in leadership

I love to watch trees in the autumn. It used to be I liked them most because of the colours, notably in Canada! However, with age I notice in forests around me how trees grow wider each passing year. I see the bark they shed regularly, as they outgrow these boundaries. I reflect on how nature shows us the way to grow personally by shedding our boundaries, our defenses, originally designed to protect us. The point is that what has once protected us becomes an impediment to our ability to expand and become our full potential.

We all need a layer of protection as we grow to face the many challenges in life. We all have a vulnerable core that needs defenses, so as to develop as grown-ups, and to heal when hurt. The delicate process of personal growth, however, requires that we soften and loosen up to shed those boundaries if we are to continuously grow. Many of us prefer to stay safe and start feeling constricted in our environment, not realizing that the constriction is actually imposed from within, from an inability to question the structures and the defense mechanisms we ourselves have put in place.

You may have decided as you age that life is less about you and more about others, from children to grandchildren and beyond. You may have chosen to become of service to your community and lead in some respect for the benefit of others. However, looking at the trees, this is less about shifting your focus to others, and more about becoming wider. It is not about disappearing yourself so much as becoming large enough to hold yourself and others. This requires an important process of questioning your defenses and softening to release the previous boundaries and grow so as to create a new space for yourself and others. This is about leadership in community building.

Pain

Have you ever wondered what was the role of pain in your life? In my leadership quest, I was recently prompted to reflect on the fact that pain has often been a big motivator in my life. It has proven to be an excellent trigger towards transformation. I often moved country, even continent, to get as far away as possible from a painful relationship or a break-up. I also changed jobs as a result of challenging professional experiences. Already as a young girl, painful moments were often the sign of personal growth.  Even physical pain, in the form of a car accident for instance, triggered a new awareness in my life pointing to the need to let go and be more receptive than constantly in a “doing” mode. Yes, pain has been an engine of change in my life.

Pain in its various forms: physical, emotional, spiritual, can indeed serve as one of life’s great teachers. However, pain is meant to pass. The problem with pain lies with the tendency we have, especially as adult, to hang on to it unconsciously as if it was a way of existing. We are in pain therefore we are… This is at the core of the victim pattern. Similarly, we can reject it and decide that the emotions that go along with pain are detrimental to our well-being. We thus develop coping mechanisms to avoid pain and the discomfort of emotions, either bottling up painful experiences and ignoring them or running away from them. In fact, we might even believe that staying away from what hurts, be it relationships or new opportunities, is the best way to avoid rejection and protect ourselves, unaware of the energy devoted to keeping something as important at bay, and the wasted opportunities to learn from life through all its experiences.

You are not meant to live in a shoebox, nor in cotton. Life is about experiences and choices, good and bad, to learn about what you like and dislike and lead the way from a place of desire and greater wisdom. If you notice that the same painful experiences present themselves, open up and embrace the pain, whether it is an old or a new pain, so that it finds the path to go through you and transform you in the process. However, the most transformative experience of all and a true leadership quest lies with the conscious decision to no longer learn from pain but to learn from joy.