Tag: courage

Rewriting your story

Our wounds and traumas are beyond what we inherit in life. They reflect what is passed on from generations to generations, the family story, but also our own difficult personal moments in life. They are not necessarily meant to be healed or forgotten. The pain inscribed in the body physically, emotionally, and spiritually becomes over time our own architecture of compassion to relate to others and humanity at large: a window into what might become, a pathway to change against all odds, our groundbreaking work, our contribution to the world.

I always wanted to make a contribution. I embraced the world from a young age. I felt this urge to travel, learn languages. I slowly woke up to the desire to transform the collective, unspoken, perhaps hidden promises of a better world. I believe we are all emerging into a new post viral world in this life time albeit at various paces; a world which will look rather different in its outer forms than the one in which I grew up. But I trust that it will carry many of the tried and true, the ancient inner wisdoms and resources from my ancestors.

Have you noticed the re-emergence of inner powers: the power of attention and attentiveness, a renewed self-confidence translated into courageous speeches? Are you aware of the hidden courage waking up inside, kicking and screaming inside like a newborn? Could it be that having stopped your normal way during lockdown, you gave some space for the unknown to manifest and transform your understanding of the destination?

Have you stumbled somehow on the way to self-enquiry?

Leadership and loss of control

Leadership is often associated to being in charge, in command, and in control. Yet my most memorable leadership experiences have been when I lost control. Like many, over the years, I have envisioned myself going places, achieving a number of things. I developed visions and plans to get there. In fact, I was particularly good at it. But the hard part and where I truly learned about leadership was when life took me to places where I did not want to go – at least consciously. I would feel that something had gone wrong and that I made a mistake. My fault or not, this would always be associated with some disheartening possibility.

What if things going wrong were to take us to a place where we needed to go for reasons deeper than our own ability to reason? What if these detours and disruptions were necessary to shake us loose of an illusion of control? It usually takes something major to wake us up, and the point is rarely to go back to what we know, but rather to remind us that the way forward lies in what we do not know. How many discoveries were made by accident, changing the course of history? These major wake up calls soften us and make us vulnerable to the point where we can release our resistance and let go of control, of what we know and understand.

You may have visited this undesirable place lately, where your response to difficulty has prompted you to witness some of the patterns of behavior that come up unconsciously, unresolved emotional baggage that stands in the way of an easier life, a more joyful existence. It takes courage to face these moments, surrender to what is, and leadership to create a new path rather than return to familiar ways of being and doing things. You will only get a finite number of opportunities to change course and emerge transformed. What is true individually, also applies internationally.

Welcome to my blog!

You just landed on a site focused on Healing International Relations, but you will read little about what goes on in the world or about international relations as we study it in university or practice it internationally as diplomats, military, grass root activists, or aid workers. Should you wish to register (see left column below) you will read every other week a post about the individual behind these roles.

As the world faces man made challenges on a scale beyond recognition, as international organizations and well-known institutions crumble all around, the level of disruption is calling for a different approach, a new system. We are collectively seeking answers through innovation, artificial intelligence, sciences. We are seeking answers in history, philosophy, religion, stuck at the crossroads, still unable to integrate all these fields. The task, however, is well beyond a new school of thought or even a new world order. At the same time, it may well be much closer to home, within our own personal power to change for ourselves and by ourselves, going back to basics and focusing on how we relate to life and thrive as an individual.

This blog stems from the premise that the time has come to disrupt ourselves – to reinvent ourselves individually with the help of each other to weave a new way of life. Disruption is commonly understood as an act of forcible separation, division into parts, break-up, dislocation that interrupts the flow momentarily or upends an industry. It typically offers also an opportunity to reconnect, re-assemble, and start anew, imagining a future catalyzing our own evolution as a species. While we tend to focus typically on the disruption around us, I have found that the rules of disruption apply to the individual as well, and I believe that innovation ultimately begins within ourselves. It takes courage to disrupt ourselves, stepping beyond our zone of comfort, beyond our doubts and embracing the scary and lonely path into the unknown. It is especially challenging as it calls for discovery rather than conventional planning and strategy. It requires searching where no one else has gone, switching to different performance criteria – an inside-out job – redefining the attributes of success. Albeit an individual path, we do not have to go it alone. You may resonate with others on the way to affirm yourself, tell your own story. I hereby offer my lessons learned from a personal disruptive trajectory, along with tips and insights on how to cope with the level of disruption within, which I believe to be necessary for healing our relations at the international level, and usher a different world one person at a time for everyone to thrive. Healing ourselves is the path to a new international environment.

Leaders of the impossible

One of the most useful lessons I learned in my lifetime is that nothing is impossible. I grew up mostly on my own, as an only child with working parents, at a time when it was not rare to see children home alone, relying on the community around them to keep an eye out for them. I often came across issues that, as a child, seemed insurmountable. But with time and persistence, I came to realize that there is always a solution; nothing stays insurmountable for long; everything passes; and nothing has to be impossible.

I discovered three steps to overcome anything in life. The first one is to remind yourself and firmly believe that nothing is impossible, if you set your mind to it. It provides the necessary courage and persistence to move through your challenge.

The second step is to believe in yourself, seek within and realize the number of ideas that can come to you. Remember that you do not need the best solution. You just need a solution to try things out. You also need to act, to choose, so as to start moving beyond what is obstructing your path.

The third step is to look around and think of others. Enlist the support of your network, friends, and family. The more people thinking in the same direction, the more solutions can be found and paths created. You can also think of people who have turned adversity into success, and thus gain a larger perspective. Others can be a source of inspiration. In our darkest hours, we can always resort to the deep knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and there is no need to feel helpless. We have the resources to find our way out. We are created that way! Taking the first step is all it takes; the next ones will appear. Believing in ourselves, we will always prevail.