Tag: control

Leadership by invitation

My latest leadership lesson I received this year from my elderly mother. Watching a loved one or even a peer traverse a path littered with stumbling blocks can be very painful. I find myself wanting to guide them and share the benefit of my own experience, my knowledge or wisdom. I have come to understand though that all human beings have the right to their own paths without the influence of others. Interfering in other people’s lives is denying them the enlightenment gained from drawing their own lessons. I had to accept that I may not identify with the choices of my mother, nor understand them, but she has the right to her own “mistakes”, her own way, her own pace.

Each one of us must earn our independence and gain illumination from making our own decisions. We have so much to learn from reflecting upon the consequences of our choices. Life is about choosing wisely. Understanding that each person must walk in their own way and at their own pace is necessary to lead wisely. Each one of us is unique and drawn to a different path. Yet we often feel tempted to direct the paths of others. Our egos convince us that we know better, often awaking a hidden craving for control within us. Beware!

If you feel compelled to intervene when watching another human being make his/her way slowly and painfully down a difficult path, try to empathize with his or her need to grow autonomously, and make his or her own way in and out of the world. Now people may ask for help and that is different. Indeed, you need a proper invitation to lead and share experiences, advice, drawing on your mistakes and wisdom. Watch for a cue though; do not over indulge. You may just need to provide the spark that will help others regain their balance to carry on their own path. To each their own. Remember that diversity is key to genuine leadership. 

Leadership and humility

As a single mom, I have long led my life independently. I felt reassured to have full control over my decisions, and to decide for myself which way to go. It took me a long time to understand that I was under the illusion that I was in charge and could handle the responsibilities towards my son that I felt squarely on my shoulders.

I discovered that it takes a village to raise a child. We probably each come to realize in our lives that behind each one of us stands at least one person. In the past, we often looked to our spouse to be that person. Some of us had the helpful experience of realizing that this is not the exclusive role of spouses, and that we are meant to have many supporters to allow ourselves to do the things we want to do, to realize our dreams, to become ourselves fully.

Have you come to appreciate how life is perfectly orchestrated to bring the right people around you to get to where you want to go? Have you become aware of how you are yourself being placed on someone else’s path to support that person? As you take time to acknowledge everyone that has supported you on your path, and how many times you were there for someone else, you will gain an understanding and genuine appreciation for the amazing human support system that life is and, thereby, develop the much-needed humility that today’s leadership in a chaotic world demands.

Peace within dictates peace on the outside

There are so many reasons why the world is in turmoil and so few recipes to bring it to a peaceful place. In reality there is only one reason to account for this dire state: we are not at peace ourselves. We feel compelled to blame disorder and chaos in the world on our fellow citizens or global circumstances over which we believe we have no control. Our own disorder seems of little relevance, and yet there will never be any peace in the outside world until we have created peace within. The roots of the problem are firmly entrenched in ourselves.

Where should we start when assessing our own relationship to peacefulness? Should we seek help on the outside or search within? More often than not, we rely on others, on experts’ account to help us interpret what may be wrong with us. We certainly cannot all be psychologists, physicians, teachers to show us the way to healing and enlightenment. The input of specialists is undeniably valuable, but in reality our own sense of the path is ultimately the most important piece. Our own inner knowing and processing of external help is fundamental to healing. We are the authorities in our own lives, and we have the final say on what is our reality. Yet we tend to let others decide for us where the problem lies and what is the cure. We abdicate our own responsibility, often unaware or not trusting enough our inner knowing. As we learn to relate to what surrounds us from within, we discover an inner sense of what is right and a resonance between the outside and the inside – a harmonious and peaceful experience of integration that brings us and the universe closer, stronger, more engaged, and interrelated with a greater ability to make a difference.

Once we have become aware of this special connection between the universe and ourselves and have found the path to manifest externally what is firmly anchored in ourselves, we can share with family and friends, inspiring our communities and the whole wide world. The first step, though, is looking within and choosing the more peaceful resonance over the negative vibrations and chaotic experiences that the world will become a more peaceful place.

Vision and leadership

When we cast our sight on what is happening around us and beyond in the world, we may be overwhelmed by the beauty of nature and the colors and shapes of art in its various forms. We are able to read the feelings of others from their facial expressions. We enjoy the ability to read books and look for signs around us to navigate our way forward. We get a sense of control of our environment based on knowledge and the ability to see what is coming our way and where we stand.

At the same time, looking around me these days, I can be just as overwhelmed by what I see. I often feel unable to make sense of a lot of images passing in front of my eyes throughout the day. I register the stress on people faces, as well as the ugliness and fear coming from the wreckage of natural disasters, inhuman treatment coming from all corners of the planet. I often close my eyes; don’t you? Yet I feel compelled to see both sides and the contrast to stay on the edge. Ultimately, I realize how little control I have, and how I am increasingly relying on inner vision to find my way.

You may discover that your eyesight diminishes as your inner vision is meant to increase. Your acuity may be advantageously replaced by an inner knowing that will help you reconsider what you thought to be factual, and navigate the world of fake news more easily. You may lose control over the world around you, but you gain mastery over yourself. Inner vision comes from a place where thoughts and feelings/emotions through your body show you things that are not manifest in the world of forms, but connect you to a part of yourself which operates from a different intelligence, and helps you lead from a different place.