Tag: change

Leadership versus “going it alone”

There is something very special about seeing an old friend coming back into one’s life. I received a message recently from an old friend from high school, who found me through social media. Thirty years may have passed since our last encounter. I was as startled as if a ghost had visited, and a rush of joy as if I had lost a precious gift and found it again.

Every person that passes through our lives makes a contribution; some are brief appearances, others significant challenges, but many add to our life stories. When fate brings old friends back into our lives, there is always a reason or some meaning. It helps reconnect with a part of us we may have forgotten, bringing a missing piece from our lifelong puzzle, a part of us we lost and needed to nurture, another opportunity to address an old situation to move forward.

If this hasn’t yet happened to you, you may be meant to initiate the experience and reach out to an old friend. Be sure to look beyond the surprise of the moment to grasp the deeper meaning this gift reveals. You may realize how we are not meant to discover our path on our own. It is through connections and reconnections that we find our way. Leadership isn’t about going it alone.

Rewriting your story

Our wounds and traumas are beyond what we inherit in life. They reflect what is passed on from generations to generations, the family story, but also our own difficult personal moments in life. They are not necessarily meant to be healed or forgotten. The pain inscribed in the body physically, emotionally, and spiritually becomes over time our own architecture of compassion to relate to others and humanity at large: a window into what might become, a pathway to change against all odds, our groundbreaking work, our contribution to the world.

I always wanted to make a contribution. I embraced the world from a young age. I felt this urge to travel, learn languages. I slowly woke up to the desire to transform the collective, unspoken, perhaps hidden promises of a better world. I believe we are all emerging into a new post viral world in this life time albeit at various paces; a world which will look rather different in its outer forms than the one in which I grew up. But I trust that it will carry many of the tried and true, the ancient inner wisdoms and resources from my ancestors.

Have you noticed the re-emergence of inner powers: the power of attention and attentiveness, a renewed self-confidence translated into courageous speeches? Are you aware of the hidden courage waking up inside, kicking and screaming inside like a newborn? Could it be that having stopped your normal way during lockdown, you gave some space for the unknown to manifest and transform your understanding of the destination?

Have you stumbled somehow on the way to self-enquiry?

What kind of a parent/leader are you?

What if parenting is not solely, or even fundamentally, about growing up our kids, but rather about growing ourselves up?

I have lived with that question with great affection, looking at my son and feeling utterly grateful for the lessons over many years. I did not yet know when he was little that his playfulness, candor, integrity, and trust were traits I badly needed to re-learn. However, I knew when I saw these traits slowly take backstage, as he was becoming a young adult, that he would have to learn them again, just like me, with his own kids. He knew somehow, as he often said over the past years, that he would need to marry someone who would know how to teach, train, and be the adult because he would most likely be the playmate for his kids.

If we ask most parents what is parenting, they are bound to answer something like: training, mentoring, teaching, passing on to help little ones become adults, essentially to shape those entrusted in their care. This may very well be, but what if this was not the only part of parenting? This is perhaps even the least important part in today’s world, when we badly need to rethink our way forward.

Are you prepared to believe that your kids know things you do not? Are you willing to revisit your childhood and complete with your kids what you could not complete the first time around? What if parenting was a great invitation to rethink your reality and the way forward in your life, as everything is changing around us fast. Are you prepared to look at your children and those of others, as a way to heal what is broken and wounded in yourselves and our society?

Time to listen, time to hear the pain and speak

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside”  Maya Angelou                                                                                         


So many times in history we simply did not hear.
This time the whole planet is for the first time engaged in the same conversation, the same fear, the same story. Is it enough?

For the first time, we stand a chance to wake ourselves up to the dire call of the planet, to the conditions in which our vulnerable ones left this world without even a goodbye.  What kind of race have we become?

So much is changing, so much can change, and yet many cannot wait to go back to what they know, to business as usual, ensuring business continuity. What kind of continuity are we hoping for?

We are finally concerned for our health, of course our own individual health before that of others and that of Mother Earth. Let it be so, as we are finally discovering that our own health is linked to that of others and that of our planet. Mother Earth has choked for decades and been on fire all year long. We are faced with a disease affecting our breathing capability, setting our systems on fire. Are we hearing this call? Are we even listening? Do we understand?

For the past two months, have we heard the quiet in the streets? Have we noticed the blue sky and the sunshine, the birds singing, this bright ultra-light bringing sunshine when the sadness all around was so heavy? Have we noticed?

Have we appreciated the sudden slower pace, the time to be in family, having the luxury of inner reflection, meditation, and calmness around? Or have we looked frantically for external stimulations to fill a void inside?

Did we hear our hearts calling us to action to care for loved ones, or mere appreciation for what we have? How many of us teleworking have enquired about how our colleagues were coping, how their families were doing, how they themselves were feeling before enquiring about work, results, and business continuity?

It is high time to put our hearts at the center and align our thoughts and actions with the guidance from within. It is not small changes and various reforms that are required, but a whole systemic change that is in order. We have reached a tipping point. Do we even have a vision of what is our desired outcome? Are we capable of letting our imagination create something new and step out of conformity for fear of what might happen to ourselves?

A system that is immune to other people’s pain, disrespectful to the planet and ultimately to ourselves is not worth saving.

Our system of endless growth for the benefit of a few is not sustainable. We all deserve to thrive, to be happy, and to enjoy our beautiful planet. We owe it to our children. We all agree … but are we hearing the desperate calls of those dying alone among our elders? Do we understand the sacrifices of those working in hospitals? Do we listen with compassion to those in pain, or do we lead the way from the head, to be efficient and perform, to win … convinced or pretending that we know best?

Do we listen to find a new path? Do we hear from other people, diverse views, communities of elders, aboriginal wisdom? Where is this pandemic taking us? What existing weaknesses is it pointing to? Not only in our international system, in our society, but in our own lives, in our own family, our own heart? Have we built the same walls between our heart, head, soul as we have built between our countries as borders closed down so quickly?

Are we hearing the new voices, the new ways, the new ideas with an open heart? Are we prioritizing our health and well-being? Have we learned to listen to our bodies or are we following our fears, too scared to try a new path and too happy to close our minds and hearts to the fears, preferring to return to the well-known, even if it is leading to extinction?

Let us make sure that all those people who died did not lose their lives in vain. It is time to listen hard and hear what humanity has to offer that enlightened us in the past and can enlighten us again. The transition this time requires a profound change within human beings. We have become immune to pain at the systemic level. Let us hope we are still able to feel pain at the individual level rather than run away from it. A change in the socio-political system, our economy or even the international order will not come to the fore unless we transform ourselves deep down and hear the pain all around. Thinking our way out has led to much suffering. Let us feel our way out of this pandemic and start learning from joy rather than pain.

Please share as you see fit. It is no longer my story.