Getting in the way of our own success

When we find ourselves blocked, unable to reach our goals, facing constant obstacles, we feel “stuck” and usually blame life or others. We essentially focus on circumstances outside of ourselves to explain our own failures, our obstacles, our negative outlook and despair. Do you know that often we are the ones getting in our own way of success?

Amazingly enough, we can get in our way without even noticing, let alone understanding why we are doing it.

I experienced a difficult year in 2016, and seemingly chose to end it in hospital. I was hit by a car on New Year’s Eve as I was crossing the street at a pedestrian crossing on my way to celebrating New Year. I now realize how difficult it is to notice what is happening to us when we get caught up in the whirlwind of our lives, losing sight of the direction things are taking without our own awareness.

Of course I heard ”bad luck,” “crazy driver,” “poor woman” as I was lying with broken bones, an unrecognizable face, waiting in emergency at the hospital for an operating room to free up for immediate surgery. Morphine kept it all in semi-consciousness, but I could already sense a blessing in disguise. I couldn’t shake a feeling of gratefulness, and not only because I was still alive.

When our lives are filled with challenges, constant personal growth and we “barrel” down… we may need to be reminded of the need to be gentle with ourselves, to slow down, and stop dimming our light to cope with darkness. I know the time had come for me to take care of myself, the needs of my body, and honour myself. Keeping my energy to myself, rather than shading light onto others, was going to create the space for a more positive, loving, and accepting view of my life to eventually replenish.

Unable to use my right arm, I could no longer write; I could no longer work. I stayed home for months forced to do nothing but think and dream, and live a very limited life. What a blessing! I learned to receive rather than do. I allowed others to help and got to appreciate the joy of friends allowed to make a significant difference into my life. How many times had I stopped others from helping me in the past? How often had I allowed myself to receive freely from life?

I was given the opportunity to stay away from my usual circumstances, from my work environment – which I so often considered to be the very reason I was “stuck”- to actually take a look inside myself. It is truly amazing how often we get in the way of our own success, and there are many reasons why we organize for our own failures. We may indeed approach our own goals in a way that keeps creating the same unsuccessful results.

Should you feel that you have been standing in your own way, as I have, you may want to take a piece of paper and investigate how you have done so and why. Let us compare notes in my next blog.

Life passes us by and the world suffers

As we rush through life, possibly enjoying the pace for a while, we are driven to exhaustion without any sense of our own responsibility in this pace, becoming the passenger rather than the driver of our own destiny. We have lost the ability to step back and reflect, to look at the big picture or do a small spontaneous thing off track. We are caught in this runaway train in the direction shaped by society, too scared to escape the mad pace and destroyed scenery, forgetting that in our precious life we were given the wheel and the inner GPS to navigate. Let us take a good look at the world and see ourselves.

The way to start is by slowing down, getting off the road and catching our breath. Let us remember who we truly are and the world we want. Do we truly have no time to make a difference? Are we so helpless to change the world? How much time does it take to give a smile and bring joy around? We can be of service without having to dedicate our lives to good causes and world peace. Let us commit to joy, if not for the world at least to ourselves. The warmth we are bound to feel will spread.

Negativity is generated by widespread suffering, pain, and selfishness. By refusing to see our own contribution – direct or indirect – we rob ourselves of the possibility of counteracting the pace at which we self-destruct through mere thinking if not acting altruistically. Meet your own breakdowns with the joy the world needs and retake your own power to make a difference in your life and in the world.

Celebrating the value of feminine power in the world today

The world needs the qualities of the Feminine today more than ever. Of course, we all recognize in world affairs that we have to contribute and learn from one another regardless of gender. However, the nurturing, the receptivity, the affection, the cooperation, the radiance, the gentleness, patience, love and sharing are among the attributes women can naturally offer that men may not so easily contribute to the work place. In fact, women have learned to adopt more masculine attributes to succeed at work, from planning to achieving goals, from being efficient to being accountable. Those are the predominant ways to be successful in today’s world affairs like in many fields, and women have rivalled with men. Yet, the world no longer needs to get more, to expand, to succeed. It needs caring!

This is no longer a world to have – for the “have” and the “have not” alike. This is a world to be, to stand for. This is a world where the qualities required to make a difference cannot be learned nor acquired. We are or we are not what the world desperately needs.

Women may have to reach out for what is fundamentally theirs, rather than to rely on their learned skills to make a difference. They may have to “unlearn” or at least take a distance from what they acquired to rediscover what they are at essence. In this quest, women can only learn from another women. There was a time where women stood together in a bond of sisterhood, but this is no longer a world where women need to support each other in search for their place in the world, for freedom and equality. This is the time where their leadership in becoming what they want to see in the world will benefit the planet regardless of gender. Only women can show the way in ensuring that their attributes become the dominant leadership style, not just for other women but for the world at large.

This is not to say that planning and achieving goals, efficiency and accountability will no longer matter. There will always be a place and a time for them. The point is that the type of leadership required to save this planet is of a different order. Similarly, nothing prevents men from being nurturing, receptive, cooperative, gentle, patient in the work place, but women have a particular responsibility in leading the way for their attributes to prevail and embrace the world. Our planet is in dire need of the Feminine creative power. It requires women to be true to themselves.

The world will only be at peace when you are at peace with yourself

There are so many reasons why the world is in turmoil and so few recipes to bring it to a peaceful place. In reality there is only one reason to account for this dire state: we are not at peace ourselves. We feel compelled to blame disorder and chaos in the world on our fellow citizens or global circumstances over which we believe we have no control. Our own disorder seems of little relevance, and yet there will never be any peace in the outside world until we have created peace within. The roots of the problem are firmly entrenched in our own selves.

Where should we start when assessing our own relationship to peacefulness? Should we seek help on the outside or search within? More often than not, we rely on others, on experts’ account to help us interpret what may be wrong with us. We certainly cannot all be psychologists, physicians, teachers to show us the way to healing and enlightenment. The input of specialists is undeniably valuable, but in reality our own sense of the path is ultimately the most important piece. Our own inner knowing and processing of external help is fundamental to healing. We are the authorities in our own lives, and we have the final say on what is our reality. Yet we tend to let others decide for us where the problem lies and what is the cure. We abdicate our own responsibility, often unaware or not trusting enough our inner knowing. As we learn to relate to what surrounds us from within, we discover an inner sense of what is right and a resonance between the outside and the inside – a harmonious and peaceful experience of integration that brings us and the universe closer, stronger, more engaged, and interrelated with a greater ability to make a difference.

Once we have become aware of this special connection between the universe and ourselves and have found the path to manifest externally what is firmly anchored in ourselves, we can share with family and friends, inspiring our communities and the whole wide world. The first step, though, is looking within and choosing the more peaceful resonance over the negative vibrations and chaotic experiences that the world will become a more peaceful place.