Women leaders: where are you?

I was invited to a significant number of workshops live and on-line this week on women in leadership. The fact that we need more women in leadership is an oxymoron. We now have robust data and it speaks for itself. Do you know the percentage of women CEOs among the Fortune 500? It is a ridiculous four percent… this is not the worst part! The fact that it seems to be going down in 2018 is shocking. It is simply unacceptable and hard to understand when you know that women represent 57 percent of college students, and about 37 percent of managers. Do I need to remind ourselves that we are talking of half of the population? How is it that women do not make it to the top? And this is not only in the business world, but it is just as bad – if not worse – in political leadership.

What is the urgency, you might ask? We are in 2018! The data shows that equal pay should occur in 2059… We are progressing at snail’s pace, and we are hindering the progress of society every day. For business, more women means higher returns. Again, check the data. Women are a big market. Moreover, diverse teams are smarter and more sustainable. No, it is not because women are less smart, or less pushy, or even more interested in life balance. There are a lot of biases out there. Women are simply wired differently, and the workplace is generally biased towards leadership based on power, control, and individualistic decisions. The good news is that it is not as if the leadership today is offering future generations a well-functioning and promising world. And the best news is that women have essentially been “outsiders” so far when it comes to leadership.

The perspective of an “outsider” is precisely what the world needs today. We need everybody’s contribution. This is not about diversity…this is about inclusion. Let us stop counting heads, and let us start making heads count!

As we look to a fast-moving and challenging world, we can no longer afford to lead without the unique contribution women can make. They have considerable experience when it comes to being left out. They know how to listen differently and translate for others. They know what it means to belong–or not –and they know how to create a different playing field. In fact, women are operating from an advantage point in today’s world, if only they would see it! Let us hear this! It is time to show up with confidence, own it, and lead with imagination, pulling our voices together, from a place of vulnerability.

The four “musts” as we move towards an inclusive world are: 1) know yourself and your core values; 2) do not seek 100 percent confidence (men operate with only 30 percent confidence); 3) amplify other women voices; 4) seek sponsors among men, as many recognize the pitfalls of belonging and the value of an inclusive world.

Going with the flow

As a leader, you might feel that going with the flow is the opposite of leading the way. Yet, going with the flow is often about opening up to new realities. There are essentially three reasons why you would want to go with the flow from a leadership position.

Firstly, you may want to open up to different ways of getting there. Life is a circular journey, and you often face situations more than once. The reappearance of patterns points to our habits and fears, giving us an opportunity to be courageous, to release a habit, overcome a fear, and do things differently. Open up to the flow!

Secondly, in going with the flow, you might open up to changing your destination. As part of the circular journey, you often get to your destination to feel that you have already been there…this looks familiar! How many times have you led a team to find yourself in a similar dynamic? How many times have you found yourself in a relationship that ends the same way? You feel you have been there, done it, time to change destination!

Third, going with the flow is giving up control, handing over responsibilities, throwing out the plan. It is teaching you to trust in the unknown, understanding that you are never in full control anyway, and that resisting is futile. Trust in life: it has a plan for you. Let it carry the day. That is a key leadership skill.

The question is when should you go with the flow and stop resisting or charging forward? Only you can tell; listen in…that is leadership!

If you want to know more about your leadership style, connect with me and let us talk. I am only an email away isabellefrancoisbe@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you!

Leadership: a time for everything

Much like in parenting, there are different phases in leadership. Let’s be clear: when you become a parent, you are parent forevermore. Well, once a leader always a leader! The job is far from static, though. As children grow, parenting roles change and you change with them. Where it really hits home is when a child graduates and leaves home. The independence of a child means an empty nest feeling for the parents. You may or may not have reached that stage–beware! Whether or not you feel good about your children’s achievements, the empty nest is a mixed feeling. You are losing a part of yourself! This may also be an exciting opportunity to rediscover who you are beside a mother-father figure, and relate to your child as a human being.

As I witnessed some of our leaders retire this summer, I noticed the feeling of disorientation facing their new freedom. I hear the feeling of losing a part of themselves, having somehow forgotten along the way that behind a leader lies an individual. This is a time to rediscover themselves. They often leave expressing pride in their teams and assuring them of their support, offering their coordinates and remaining open to hearing from those who wish to reach out. I want to say: Hurray! This is an exciting time to rediscover the true leader inside: the essence of one’s leadership.

Much like spouses with more leisure time on their hands in an empty nest, who may need to relearn how to be best friends and lovers, leaders may need to rediscover their relationship to themselves and what made them a leader in the first place, in order to move forward. And what might that be? It is a time and place of enquiry. It is about reconnecting with one’s purpose, creating a new platform, and tapping into one’s own source of energy for impact. It is often about giving back to the community we served and the family who supported us.

Do you want to know more about the essence of your own leadership? Look at my Creative Leadership Program on the left column and let’s connect at isabellefrancoisbe@gmail.com

Leadership at home

Leadership for me came from my experiences at home, as an only child often home alone and later as a single mom with a demanding job and an only child of my own. I grew up exploring independence and freedom, and I matured discovering the challenges of non-attachment. Issues of leadership in the work space felt much easier in comparison, and often came naturally. With hindsight, I believe that parenting is where leadership becomes most challenging and offers the biggest rewards. I long felt that the hardest thing for parents was to allow their children to experiment for themselves and become whomever these children wanted for themselves, first leading and then supporting them from behind. Then I discovered that perhaps the biggest challenge of all lies with appreciating and embracing the opposite of leadership and nurture the needy child behind the leader, not only in a child but in ourselves.

Successful parenting is a balancing act between the requirement to love and nurture our children, on the one hand, and to let go of them at the appropriate time, practicing this challenging non-attachment to the result. We all experience this fierce love that causes us to overstep our boundaries and want to determine what they become in life, pushing them in one direction or another, guarding them to help them feel more secure, helping them with their homework, protecting them from unhealthy surroundings, seeing our children as an extension of ourselves. The more attached they are, the more challenging it becomes to finally set them free, and yet we all know intuitively (even if we find it hard to accept and practice) that true love is giving freedom.

You will be called to let your children go in directions you fear, do not respect, or simply do not understand. You will gradually honor them by treating them as peers who no longer need your guidance, even if they still seek your understanding at times to validate their own feelings. The biggest gift you can offer them is to trust them to know for themselves, to lead their lives the way they choose as equals, making their own way, exercising leadership for themselves. Your confidence will give them wings, and you can trust that the soil you provided for them to grow roots is more than enough to see them find their own path.

You may also have to realize that there is always a needy child behind a leader. I often felt uneasy, even critical towards needy young adults, the same way I would repel any feeling of neediness within myself. I became more lenient and open to this “weak side” within. I can see that this deep resistance to neediness and attachment has ultimately been the engine that propelled me towards leadership qualities. I also came to realize that pushing away and condemning this neediness in an effort to glorify freedom and independence can actually uproot the most nurturing qualities in a leader.

Now more than ever, we need nurturing leaders who will allow for those who rely on others to make their way, fully dependent on their family structure or the social fabric around them. Successful leadership is about accepting both the fiercely independent and free spirit born to lead and the needy child whose vulnerability provides the very soil for nurturing us all. As a parent, you are called upon to raise both and love them equally, and ultimately nourish and integrate both sides within yourself.

If you are ready to explore your leadership instincts and how to lead with emotions, I’d be happy to show you the path and work with you. We are just an email away: isabellefrancoisbe@gmail.com