Category: transformative leadership

Vision and leadership

When we cast our sight on what is happening around us and beyond in the world, we may be overwhelmed by the beauty of nature and the colors and shapes of art in its various forms. We are able to read the feelings of others from their facial expressions. We enjoy the ability to read books and look for signs around us to navigate our way forward. We get a sense of control of our environment based on knowledge and the ability to see what is coming our way and where we stand.

At the same time, looking around me these days, I can be just as overwhelmed by what I see. I often feel unable to make sense of a lot of images passing in front of my eyes throughout the day. I register the stress on people faces, as well as the ugliness and fear coming from the wreckage of natural disasters, inhuman treatment coming from all corners of the planet. I often close my eyes; don’t you? Yet I feel compelled to see both sides and the contrast to stay on the edge. Ultimately, I realize how little control I have, and how I am increasingly relying on inner vision to find my way.

You may discover that your eyesight diminishes as your inner vision is meant to increase. Your acuity may be advantageously replaced by an inner knowing that will help you reconsider what you thought to be factual, and navigate the world of fake news more easily. You may lose control over the world around you, but you gain mastery over yourself. Inner vision comes from a place where thoughts and feelings/emotions through your body show you things that are not manifest in the world of forms, but connect you to a part of yourself which operates from a different intelligence, and helps you lead from a different place.

Fear of failure

The fear of failure is a common experience that can be changed. Everyone has fears and they exist for a reason. Fear is an important mechanism to protect us and help us deal with a potential danger. The challenge is that fear may keep us from participating fully in life and venture outside of our zone of comfort. We have to realize that fear shows up by anticipation, based on previous experiences, not only as a response to real and present danger. Fear is based on thoughts that are stored and used as data in our mind to elicit certain responses. Once we realize the mechanism, we can choose to hack our own computer of a brain, and trigger a different response. We can always generate new reactions, new brain connections by choosing new thoughts. 

What if failure was a good thing?What if failure was a way to learn and innovate, a technic to master (fail, fail and fail better), a path towards mastery. I remember thinking that failure should be taught in school. There are so many things to learn from failures. It leads to a gradual process of reconquering lost ground to be repeated over and over again towards success, like a child learning to walk – falling time and again – until he or she finds balance.

You may feel that you stand out when you fail, that all eyes are on you, and nobody could be as bad as you. These feelings are common, but you can overcome them, especially if you disconnect the fear triggered by the thought of failing. When you learn to observe your thoughts and their connections to the way you feel, you can find a way to change the feeling around the thought of failing. Think and feel the positive charge around failing. You will gain freedom, no longer ruled by the fear to fail.

Honoring your full potential

There are many ways to embrace the whole of who we are with our various experiences, strengths, and weaknesses. Yet, in my experience, the tendency is to focus on what we expect others to like and appreciate, and lead our life and others from a place of strength, ignoring the vulnerable spots. To the experienced eye, however, there is a significant difference in the way we walk into a room (and through life) between someone willing to embrace it all and someone hiding behind a wall of tears. The first one comes in curious about what life has in store, willing to engage, and usually having much to offer. He or she is showing up for the party. The other is walking into the room holding back for one reason or another, either hurting inside, hiding behind an imaginary wall, or in need of healing. He or she cannot be present in the room, lacking the confidence to be whole and transparent.

Do you think that hiding parts of who you are is normal? Do you feel that it is better for your surroundings to keep your own issues buried within and not bother others? The trouble with this is that you are also likely to hide this part of you to yourself – from your own awareness. Just noticing that you are not really showing up into the room full of family, or friends, colleagues or even strangers is an important step. Feeling your way into what it would look like and feel like to show up embracing the whole of you, can give you the inspiration to give yourself permission to become your full potential.

In truth, we can show up to fully engage even if we are suffering or closed behind our wall, but it starts with showing up fully to that experience as part of life. Shielding ourselves from the pain and experiences we do not wish to have is shielding ourselves from the whole of life, the negative as much as the positive (two faces of the same coin). There is nothing more rewarding than showing up for the whole of life. When we can do this, we become alive and rich. We gain the ability to make things happen for ourselves, and others around us. We walk through the room and into the world with the curiosity and knowledge that we have a lot to offer, and the desire to share it.

Pain

Have you ever wondered what was the role of pain in your life? In my leadership quest, I was recently prompted to reflect on the fact that pain has often been a big motivator in my life. It has proven to be an excellent trigger towards transformation. I often moved country, even continent, to get as far away as possible from a painful relationship or a break-up. I also changed jobs as a result of challenging professional experiences. Already as a young girl, painful moments were often the sign of personal growth.  Even physical pain, in the form of a car accident for instance, triggered a new awareness in my life pointing to the need to let go and be more receptive than constantly in a “doing” mode. Yes, pain has been an engine of change in my life.

Pain in its various forms: physical, emotional, spiritual, can indeed serve as one of life’s great teachers. However, pain is meant to pass. The problem with pain lies with the tendency we have, especially as adult, to hang on to it unconsciously as if it was a way of existing. We are in pain therefore we are… This is at the core of the victim pattern. Similarly, we can reject it and decide that the emotions that go along with pain are detrimental to our well-being. We thus develop coping mechanisms to avoid pain and the discomfort of emotions, either bottling up painful experiences and ignoring them or running away from them. In fact, we might even believe that staying away from what hurts, be it relationships or new opportunities, is the best way to avoid rejection and protect ourselves, unaware of the energy devoted to keeping something as important at bay, and the wasted opportunities to learn from life through all its experiences.

You are not meant to live in a shoebox, nor in cotton. Life is about experiences and choices, good and bad, to learn about what you like and dislike and lead the way from a place of desire and greater wisdom. If you notice that the same painful experiences present themselves, open up and embrace the pain, whether it is an old or a new pain, so that it finds the path to go through you and transform you in the process. However, the most transformative experience of all and a true leadership quest lies with the conscious decision to no longer learn from pain but to learn from joy.