Month: November 2019

How to show up for life?

I often felt that you can only lead from a place of power, that you are in charge when you feel your best, and that others follow when they feel your strength. I came to realize that the point is not to project anything, but to be authentic rather than powerful or in control. The way I walk into a room already says a lot about me. If I am holding back on my troubles I will walk into a room with my eyes down, or I will smile absent-mindedly. If I am hurting inside, I will lack the confidence to be fully present to my surroundings, even if I try to project otherwise.

When we show up for life, we are fully engaged with what it has to offer and teach, whether it is painful or joyful. Noticing how showing up and being authentic with our feelings allows us to attract what we need. When we need healing, we will meet with those who can help us heal. Whatever we may need, if we are connected with it inside, we will find the places, the people, and the opportunities that we need at that particular moment. When we show up for this kind of leadership, trusting in life, showing others how to attract what they need, we become alive and confident. This is the kind of leadership that will inspire others.

You can show up in life for what you are and master the ability to make things happen, whether or not you are in a position of strength, provided that you do not pretend, and that you are able to come forth through your vulnerabilities, as much as your needs, curiosity, and passion. When you show up for yourself in life, the universe will show up for you!

Vulnerability in leadership

I love to watch trees in the autumn. It used to be I liked them most because of the colours, notably in Canada! However, with age I notice in forests around me how trees grow wider each passing year. I see the bark they shed regularly, as they outgrow these boundaries. I reflect on how nature shows us the way to grow personally by shedding our boundaries, our defenses, originally designed to protect us. The point is that what has once protected us becomes an impediment to our ability to expand and become our full potential.

We all need a layer of protection as we grow to face the many challenges in life. We all have a vulnerable core that needs defenses, so as to develop as grown-ups, and to heal when hurt. The delicate process of personal growth, however, requires that we soften and loosen up to shed those boundaries if we are to continuously grow. Many of us prefer to stay safe and start feeling constricted in our environment, not realizing that the constriction is actually imposed from within, from an inability to question the structures and the defense mechanisms we ourselves have put in place.

You may have decided as you age that life is less about you and more about others, from children to grandchildren and beyond. You may have chosen to become of service to your community and lead in some respect for the benefit of others. However, looking at the trees, this is less about shifting your focus to others, and more about becoming wider. It is not about disappearing yourself so much as becoming large enough to hold yourself and others. This requires an important process of questioning your defenses and softening to release the previous boundaries and grow so as to create a new space for yourself and others. This is about leadership in community building.