Month: March 2019

Inner strength and leadership

So often in our world we think of inner strength as a leadership quality that arises from a place of firm determination, a will to succeed at all costs, a confidence that inspires and brings people along. My lessons learned in developing my own inner strength in life have taught me differently. I have often heard people mention me as a strong woman, which often mystified me. I came to discover that what is perceived as a strong woman lies with the ability to listen to one’s inner wisdom, one’s true self in any given situation. I came to understand that a woman does not need to step into an assertive role to act effectively. She needs to be in touch with her insight and sense of compassion to truly demonstrate the depth of her strength.

The challenge is that there is no instruction manual to get in touch with who we are deep down, tapping into intuition and listening to that inner wisdom. In fact, we are not born with it; it is a lifelong journey. We may have a number of predispositions early on, but we have to develop them–grow them–through self-discovery. The lessons keep coming, along with the mistakes and misadventures along the way. As we investigate the “why” and “how” through this active process, we write our own instruction manual.

You may think that your determination in pursuing your career, or your life’s work, buckling up and barreling down shows how to lead the way. However, it is less the goal and the end result that will show leadership than the feelings along the way when you want to run away and throw it all away in the face of despair. These feelings are what will make you look more at who you are and become more of who you are, no matter how uncomfortable and scary. When you’re tired of pushing something down or running away from it, you will express yourself fully and realize that you are not alone in this darkness, ultimately coming out, on the other side feeling stronger and wiser. This is resilience! Resilience is the secret to get to the treasure buried within, the energy and inspiration that will ultimately lead you forward, and allow you to lead others with insight and compassion.

Success beyond limits

Everyone knows the saying “there is a limit to what we can do.” Indeed, we all define and thereby limit our potential in the course of life. For most of us, there is power in knowing our own personal limits, so as not to overextend ourselves. Yet in principle, as we often tell our kids: “the sky is the limit.” There are so many paths, so many options, so many experiences to choose from in life that it is often difficult to determine and accept our limits. We are all born with unique aptitudes and develop personal desires which help us determine the path we wish to travel, while our bodies through stress, discomfort, and other forms of resistance let us know the range of our comfort zone. Observing when we feel drained give us insight as to our respective limits.

I have observed for myself that my attitude towards limits is usually to push beyond. I always do my best work when I get just beyond the limits of my comfort zone, where I extend the range of my capabilities. Others might thrive within their own limits, actively shaping their circumstances. Indeed what inspires or invigorates one individual may exhaust or overwhelm another. I noticed, however, that there is another type of limit that I periodically come up against, where I once decided that “no” this was not for me. I was not going to do this type of job; I was not interested in this field; I did not like this person. Each time I set such a threshold, life has a way to push me against my own limits, and I have been surprised to discover that my limits thereby change over time. In fact, my willingness to get beyond these limits has helped me flourish in many ways.

You may discover as you go about life that your limits are there to be gently transgressed. They reveal themselves as a way to smoothen your passage through life. You realize that you become a “bigger” person for overcoming your upper limits. Ultimately, the best things in life are those that cannot be quantified, that are essentially unlimited. Looking at one’s life, success could be summed up in three questions: Did I love enough? Did I give enough? Did I live enough? Pushing the limits in these regards may just be the way to go!

10 Ways to tap into your leadership potential

These past few years I have written at length about leadership from various angles: what I discovered from my own experience, what I have observed around me, what may be more relevant for women, and what I have come to understand. In helping others develop their own leadership skills I have discovered 10 ways to tap into your leadership potential. Let me share with you today the following tips:

  • Be clear and deliberate. Do not get caught up in details and slow down – enjoy the ride in life!
  • Stay connected to your own voice. It is essential to be anchored from within. Develop a solid sense of self. 
  • Make sure you can stand silence, and seek moments of stillness away from noise to remain in touch with yourself.
  • Give support to others through connections, even if only your presence.
  • Nurture your ties to your community. If you do not have a tribe, create one: friends, neighbors, colleagues, loved ones. You need others, their support, guidance, and companionship.
  • Choose carefully what you let into your space: i.e. people, information, vibrations, food, noise.
  • Be mindful of the beauty around you and all that makes your heart sing.
  • Look at the big picture and realize that your approach to life is one of many. Widen your perspective and open up to other views, cultures, and ways of doing things.
  • Keep on your toes and challenge yourself. Avoid routine. Life is never dull.
  • Be active: your body needs movement and you need energy and vitality.